The Nankipooh Enquirer: “Directions”

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By: Bascomb Biggers
I was hangin around my Granpa’s store, the Biggers Grocery, in Nankipooh one day when a salesman from Atlanta came through the door and says to Granpa, “Hey Pops, can you tell me how to get to the Adams Farm?”  “Sure, says Grandpa, you just go down the main road south of here until you get to the last right, and the Adams place will be on your left.”  “Thanks Pops”, says the salesman and off he goes.  I said to Grandpa, “How will he know when he gets to the last right?”  Grandpa says, “He won’t, but he’s too stupid to know that, besides the last right would be somewhere down in south Florida.”  “Why didn’t you tell him the right directions, Grandpa?”  “Because, he’s a yankee and besides that, he called me Pops.”  I said, Grandpa, how do you know he’s a yankee?”  “Because son, anybody from north of Nankipooh is a yankee.”
Now, I learned a couple of things from this, and the first was, if you want someone to tell you the truth, you had better ask your question in a respectful manner.  The second thing I learned, was that Granpa liked to have fun with yankees, even if they was just from Atlanta.  The last thing that I learned was that most folks are pretty much the same, no matter where they come from, but most of us learned our manners from back home, and if you want to get sent in the right direction, you better use your manners when you are out in the world.  You never know when you might run into Grandpa Biggers, and you might need his help.
“Now, that’s the way I see it, and you can tell-em I said so!”"
Bascomb Biggers
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